Lately I have had this strangest feeling,
with no vivd reasons here to find.
Yet the thought of losing’s been hanging, round my mind…
Far more frequently you’re wearing perfume,
with you say, “No special place to go”
But when I ask will you be coming back soon,
you don’t know, never know.

This is one of my favorite songs. The title of this song is “Lately” by Stevie Wonder. The music is really nice but if you will read the lyrics, the song is all about a cheating spouse!

I am writing an article about the signs of a cheating spouse not because I am experiencing it but to educate other people. I believe all spouses out there do not want to be in that scenario. Anyway below is the list of signs that your spouse is cheating you already:

Odd Behavior at Home:

  • Is frequently tired or lack interest in the relationship.
  • Comes home smelling of an unfamiliar fragrance.
  • Wears cologne much more often than usual.
  • Arrives home and heads straight into the shower/bath.
  • Gets dressed up a little too well (to) for trips to the grocery or running some other kind of errand or menial task.
  • Begins to speak more and more harshly to you, or are more sarcastic. Sometimes this is just an attempt to justify their cheating…or to give them an excuse to storm out of the room/house.
  • Asks about your schedule more often than usual.
  • Develops an increased focus on losing weight or pays more attention to their appearance (for women).
  • Stops wearing his wedding ring and, when asked, can’t give a reasonable explanation(for men).

Behavior in Bed:

  • Is no longer interested in sex, or he/she makes excuses for its infrequency.
  • Shows a “new talent” in the bedroom (that they might have learned from the individual with whom they’ve been cheating)
  • Appears reluctant to kiss you, or show affection toward you.
  • Continues giving poor excuses for why he is not in the mood to make love.

Work Related Issues:

  • Work longer hours, more frequently…and keep you from viewing his paycheck/pay-stubs
  • Changes his established routine with no apparent reason
  • Begins discouraging you from calling him at work
  • Is often “unavailable” when you try to call him at work.
  • Returns calls long after you leave a message for him.
  • Prefers to attend work functions (or any events) alone and tries to discourage you from attending.
  • Takes more trips for business reasons and even refuses to let you drive him to the airport.

Telephone Mannerisms:

  • Receives “mysterious” phone calls.
  • You get an increasing number of hang-ups or “wrong numbers” when you pick up the phone. Especially if the caller hangs up after hearing your voice and doesn’t speak. Generally when a person dials a “wrong” number, they will at least ask, “Is Fred there?” before hanging up (though not always).
  • Phone bills that show unexplained toll or long distance charges.
  • Hurriedly picks up the phone to answer it before you do.
  • Leaves the room to talk on the phone.
  • Whispers while on the phone.
  • Deletes numbers from “caller ID” or cellphone “dialed numbers”.
  • Behaves differently or ends the telephone calls abruptly when you enter the room. Or appears to hang up quickly.

Automobile Related Signs:

  • The passenger’s seat is adjusted differently than you had left it.
  • Taking child seat out of the car for no particular reason.
  • Finding suspicious items like phone numbers, receipts, lipstick, condoms or strange hairs in the vehicle.
  • Keeping a change of clothes in the trunk.
  • Unexplainable mileage or a lack of additional mileage. For example, if your husband states that he went out of town yet the odometer indicates that only a distance of 25 miles had been driven. Conversely, if he says that he’s only been to the office that day, yet their odometer shows many more miles ad been driven, this too, may be a significant matter.

Cellphone and Credit Card Bills:

  • Credit card receipts for gifts or special items you didn’t receive.
  • An increase in ATM withdrawals. Especially those from out-of-town (receipts bear a time/date stamp).
  • Credit card receipts showing purchases from places unknown to you or that seem suspect
  • He/She rushes to get the mail before you do.
  • Unusual phone numbers appearing on the bill.
  • The duration and time of the calls appear excessive.
  • He/She is secretive about his cell phone bill.
  • He/She starts to pay it himself.

Internet Infidelity Warning Signs:

  • He warily guards access to his computer.
  • He shuts down the computer as you walk into the room.
  • He adds password protection his computer.
  • Or he stays up to “work” on the computer long after you’ve gone to bed.
  • He has unusual sites showing in the “browser history”, or erases them after each late-night session.
  • He deletes email message more frequently

Let me reiterate that these behaviors are only indicators of a cheating spouse and are not absolutes.

Some cheating spouses are very deceitful and can cover their tracks superbly (specially if they have read this!). They may become more attentive in an effort to compensate for the fact that their attentions are going elsewhere. They behave like “model” parents in an effort to alleviate their guilt. These are the people who are the hardest to catch, and the ones who cause the most pain when they are finally caught.

These are more reasons to consider retaining the services of a professional investigator.

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